Let’s Talk About Nervous-System Care







About the Author Michelle Miller is a Product Development Specialist at Great Kids. Prior to joining the Product Development team, Michell worked for three years as a Great Kids trainer. Before that, she worked as a trainer supervisor, and home visitor with a Healthy Families program in Middle Tennessee. Outside of work, she enjoys spending time with her three children and doing anything outdoors, especially kayaking.

Learning to Nurture Our Nervous Systems

“Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”  Audre Lord

I don’t know about others, but the term SELF-CARE often brings up images of going to a gym, doing yoga, mindful meditation, or long luxurious bubble baths. And while I KNOW self-care is good for me, I rarely have the energy or time for any of that.

Additionally, over the past few years, I’ve noticed that when I hear how it’s more important than ever to practice self-care because of how stressed we all are, some part of me begins to feel tense or defensive, as if practicing self-care is one more thing on my to-do list that I can’t manage to get to.  

However, recently, I’ve had a slight shift in thinking and in managing my own responses to stress.

What is Nervous-System Care?

This shift happened as a result of reading an excerpt from a book that referred to self-care as “nervous-system” care.⁵  This phrase, “nervous-system care,” was used to explain how self-care is REALLY about nurturing our nervous system, which is the basic building block for supporting our best mental and physical health.⁵

I’m not sure why, but this understanding that we can care for our nervous system made much more sense to me than the more abstract idea of self-care. In my reading, I also learned that while regularly going to a gym or practicing meditation, etc., are great long-term care goals, there are things we can do in the short term to support and essentially strengthen our nervous systems.^5,8

Benefits of Nurturing the Nervous System

While these actions (listed below) are much smaller, and we may not notice results instantly, experts in brain development tell us that repeating behaviors can change how our brains and nervous systems function.¹⁰  This means the more we practice caring for ourselves, even in small ways, the more resilient we can become to stress.

What’s really great is that self/nervous-system care has an even more significant impact on pregnant parents and parents with infants and young children. This is because a parent’s brain is in a sort of increased state of plasticity during pregnancy and after, which means their brain is more capable of growth and change.^2,5  So, when parents repeat practices that nurture their brains and nervous systems, they can more easily rewire them, becoming less prone to stress and more prone to feelings of safety and calm.⁵

Additionally, when a parent is able to nurture their own nervous system, they’ll also be supporting their child. Infants and young children pick up on and mirror their parents’ emotional states, and their nervous systems develop in response to the environments in which they grow.^5,9,10

While some life situations are more challenging, and no parent or person will always respond perfectly to stress, there are some very basic things we can all do to help our nervous systems have MORE of what’s needed to help us better manage stress.⁵

Below are FOUR easy ways to nurture and repair your nervous system:

1. Stay hydrated with water and other healthy drinks. Every organ in your body needs water, especially your brain. Some studies show that even mild dehydration can increase feelings of stress and anxiety.^1,13
2. Try not to skip meals and plan to eat healthy foods. Skipping meals or being hungry will activate your nervous system—think hangry.⁶   Also, healthier foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and foods containing omega-3s, like flax seed and salmon, help to reduce stress AND promote feelings of well-being.⁷
3. Move! Any amount of activity is better than none when it comes to nurturing your nervous system.¹¹  You can take short stretching or walking breaks or maybe find a safe space to sway or dance to a favorite song.³  And, if possible, sing along, which will also support deeper breathing and feelings of calm.⁴
4. Check in with yourself and breathe. Setting up times to check in with yourself and noticing how you feel is a great first step to doing something to care for yourself. To ease tension, you might take a few slow, deep breaths, focusing on the exhale while relaxing your body from jaw to neck to shoulders and down.

Now, this is just a short menu of options for practicing self/nervous-system care, and you don’t have to do all of them all the time. However, the next time you eat a handful of grapes or walk to the mailbox and back, you can recognize that you’re doing something to support your nervous system, which is the basis for being your healthiest and most resilient self.

How Great Kids Products Promote Self-Care

At Great Kids, we recognize that caring for ourselves is one of the most important steps to caring for others.

This is why many of our curriculum materials, including Growing Great Families® Next Generation and Growing Great Kids® Next Generation Prenatal, contain conversation guides that encourage parents to think about how they can best care for themselves so that they have more of what they need to care for their babies and families.

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References

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, June 6). Water and healthier drinks. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/healthy_eating/water-and-healthier-drinks.html

2. Conaboy, C. (2022). Mother brain: How neuroscience is rewriting the story of parenthood. Holt Paperbacks.

3. Elst, O. F., Foster, N. H. D., Vuust, P., Keller, P. E. Kringelbach, M. L. (2023, July). The neuroscience of dance: A conceptual framework and systematic review. Neuroscience and Behavioral Reviews, 150. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2023.105197  

4. Hendry, N., Lynam, D. S., & Lafarge, C. (2022). Singing for well-being: Formulating a model for community group singing interventions. Qualitative Health Research, 32(8-9), 1399–1414. https://doi.org/10.1177/10497323221104718  

5. Kirshenbaum, G. (2023). The nurture revolution: Grow your baby’s brain and transform their mental health through the art of nurtured parenting. Grand Central Publishing.

6. Morshed, B. M., Kulkarni, S. S., Saha, K., Li, R., Roper, L. G., Nachman, L, Lu, H. Mirabella, L. Srivastava, S. Barbaro, K. D. de Choudry, M., Ploz, & Abowd, G. (2022, November 3). Food, mood, context: Examining college student’s eating context and mental well-being. ACM transactions on Computing for Healthcare, 3(4), 1-26, https://doi.org/10.1145/3533390

7. Naidoo, U. (2019). Nutritional strategies to ease anxiety. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441

8. National Institutes of Health. (2018, October 1). What does the nervous system do? https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/neuro/conditioninfo/functions

9. Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. Flatiron Books.

10. Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2021). The power of showing up: How parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. Ballantine Books.

11. Silva, L. R. B., Seguro, C. S., de Oliveira, C. G. A., Santos, P. O. S., de Oliveira, J. C. M., de Souza Filho, L. F. M., de Paula Júnior, C. A., Gentil, P., & Rebelo, A. C. S. (2020). Physical inactivity is associated with increased levels of anxiety, depression, and stress in Brazilians during the COVID-19 pandemic: A cross-sectional study. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11, 565291. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.565291  

12. Zaccaro, A., Piarulli, A., Laurino, M., Garbella, E., Menicucci, D., Neri, B., & Gemignani, A. (2018). How breath-control can change your life: A systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 12, 353. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353

13. Zhang, N., Du, S. M., Zhang, J. F., & Ma, G. S. (2019). Effects of dehydration and rehydration on cognitive performance and mood among male college students in Cangzhou, China: A self-controlled trial. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(11), 1891. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16111891